Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Somewhere Down the Road (State Route 60, in this case)

I had a most amazing thing happen two days ago: I met my most-adored celebrity ever!

That is AMY GRANT standing right next to me - can you believe it?!?

I am not normally socially adept, and I proved it very well when I walked up to her when it was my turn, shaking like I was about to perform. I babbled something about being a huge fan and her singing right to me and she said something along the lines of, "So I'm singing your story?" and I said something totally moronic like "I think so". I don't know. I can't remember. I'm still shaking when I think about it. She was very gracious, and very socially adept. :)

It occurs to me that one of the reasons I love her music is because she is singing HER story and sharing it with everyone, but also putting feelings that many of us have experienced out there in song so that we can express what we feel through her music. She is honest and open and goes through many of the same things we do. She's just really good at putting those good and bad things to catchy, lovely, sometimes haunting tunes. I love her for it. I used to want to sing like her (ok, that would still be nice), but now I just want to live like her. To have faith through struggles, to be able to feel the whole spectrum of emotions, to give time and resources to make the world a better place. To be a person who can sing "El Shaddai" and "Come Into My World" one right after the other and to be ok with that one-in-the-same person. To love and be loved in return. To have a passion for music. To be able to put some of my emotions in song. I could go on, but hopefully you get the gist.

I find I'm having trouble getting the words just right. I'm not a songwriter. I'm not a wordsmith. I just have a lot of feelings tied to this one experience of meeting Amy. The good, the bad, the ugly. Me trying to decipher them feels like trying to analyze poetry. I don't even think Amy wrote a song that describes it. The extreme euphoria and the little letdown when the 10 seconds with her were over. The agony over my stupid words - whatever I said to her, the thrill of hearing the new music as soon as I got in the car, the odd self-worth issues it has brought up to me since then ("I wondered who the pretty one in the picture was, but I just couldn't place her")...

I think I am making too much of all of it. And yet...

It's a fact. It's how I'm wired. I think too much.

For now, though, I'm just going to go put on some headphones and listen. 'Cuz she's still got some pipes and some cool things to say. If you get a chance, check out this or any other AG album (click on my blog title for a link)!