Friends

Today when I went to the mailbox, I found a large manila envelope with a return address I didn't recognize. I peeled off the USPS-mandated sticker that they placed over the sender's name (how rude!), and I did a little dance of joy!

Here's the thing: when I was in college in 1992 and 1993 (and a little of 94), I met some wonderful friends. Most of them weren't music majors, like me, but we all shared a passion for singing in the choir and somehow we became fast friends. Over the next couple years, the circle expanded, and while I was out of the loop after leaving to get married and move to TN even more people were added to the circle. Actually, it's kinda more like a flow-chart. This person was in the group, and that same person's roommate joined us, and then the roommate's friend...well, you get the picture.

Sadly, I lost touch with most of them, but I had one faithful friend in this circle who wrote to me even when I forgot to write back (or just felt like I didn't have anything to say, I will now admit). Then a few years back, someone in the group (probably the above-mentioned friend) thought it would be fun to have a little overnight get-together to reacquaint ourselves and just have some time away, and we've been getting together ever since.

But, back to the envelope. This year, for various reasons, the get-together didn't happen. We're all busy and new babies are keeping us on our toes (hahaha...Cheri, better get married soon - it's your turn!), and things just didn't work out. One of the gals thought up the neat idea to fill out a questionnaire so we could still get to know each other a little and feel connected, even though we weren't physically together. The envelope was filled with the answers, and I was glad to see that most everyone participated. I had a good time reading the responses.

It also reminded me that even though we all have struggles, we all have a God who loves us and cares for us. I know I need to remember that more often. I have a tendency to want friends too badly and "scare" them away (my take on things), but I need to remember that there is ONE who will always listen. And with the book another friend gave me, I'm learning that God will even talk back! So, even though life here stinks right now, perhaps my renewed friendships will bring me more comfort when I practice the advice I dole out with every email : "Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough. Dinah Shore"

I some of my reticence to share is because I don't want people to worry. I'm sure there's some pride issues, too. But a lot of it is that I'm pretty sure that most people (the ones who don't read this...that's why I don't mind saying so) truly don't care. I've come to the conclusion that really, we aren't very important to most people we know. We're too much trouble, and if people don't ask about us, then they don't have to do anything about our problems. Not that we're asking for anything other than a listening ear, mind you. And then begins a vicious cycle of us not getting in touch with people because we don't want to have to talk to them about our lives (really, are we just more gossip fodder, or do you really care?), and we don't want to hear about their "problems" (the air conditioner in my new Jeep is still not fixed even though it works kind of and it's under warranty so I don't have to pay...). And I have to remind myself that I need to be the kind of person that I want others to be to me. It's just hard to do that. Anyone want to keep me accountable for that?